Happy New Year, all! I've made some important decisions in the past few days, and one of them is to write out a sort of journal entry here that may help me start the new year right. This time of year is always a good time to take time out, look at where you are, where you came from and where you want to go. And this year, I have a lot of big goals.
Last May when I made the decision that I would give myself one more year in Seattle before I moved on to the next part of my life, I could never have imagined that it would be one of the best and most meaningful years in my life thus far. This year has been magical, a little heartbreaking, challenging and above all, rewarding. I started the year battling with major depression, which lead to ending up in the darkest place I've ever been. I made the decision to keep living, and even more decided that i never want to be in that place again. I've spent some of the past 12 months finding out why I felt that way and searching for solutions, giving myself love and the asking myself some very tough questions, I've made some difficult decisions and been brave more than once. I've realized that things I thought were my weaknesses are actually strengths, and vice-versa, and I'm working on healing the parts of me that need it.
Aside from the psychological work I've done, I've truly been enjoying my time in Washington State. I've had adventures, overcome fears, and found love and happiness in unexpected places. I've traveled to 8 different states and 5 national parks, I've had visitors, been a visitor and consumed a shit ton of beer. Overall, it's been a great fucking year.
But now, I am faced with a new year. New challenges and opportunities? New resolutions and motivation?? That's a nice way to look at it, right??? Sure.....
My inner demon is saying "yeah, right." A good start to the year has not been my experience in the past. I am a full-fledged new year hater. I have playlists dedicated to how much January tortures me, and I find myself stressing and afraid, trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to make it through this month without ending up back where I was last year. It is of no help that January is the start of the worst weather. In Seattle, it's rain and cold, for the next 5 months. In NH, it's bitter cold, and the wind makes your lips raw and burns your eyes on contact. Also, the holiday high is over. I'm back to the grind and the past few years I've left my family behind after Christmas, without plans to see them again. There are no other holidays to look forward to in the near future. To top off the list of shitty new year trends, almost all of the relationship deaths I've had in my life or witnessed happen between the end of December and the beginning of March. And while that is usually a product of people feeling empowered to change their lives, it also starts the year in a place of grief.
With all of these things, you can see why historically, I fucking hate January. In complaining to my lovely sister last night about how January is the worst, we were talking about solutions. Starting a petition to remove it from the calendar year wouldn't really do any good, as another month would pull forward and be just as miserable. Then, Kate made a suggestion that really stuck with me. Why don't I reclaim January?
So, without further ado, Introducing! The January Reclamation Project, or JRP for short.
Reclamation is a term usually used with regards to ecology and land action. It means to take an area that isn't what it could be and make it into something with greater purpose. Well, Endless Sea of Sorrows otherwise known as January, I'm about to land fill your ass.
That's right. I'd going to make you one of my more successful months of the year. Mentally, emotionally and physically. I'm not one for new year's resolutions. Long term planning big goals which there is no end in sight are overwhelming, and based on my previous experience, a way to set myself up for ultimate failure. So instead, my only goal is to change my frame of mind and perspective with the goal to make some big changes and some small changes that will ultimately end in big results.
I'm going to spend less time focused on other people's lives and how other people see my life, and more just on living my own life, everyday, exactly how I want it lived, which includes traveling, improving my health and finding happiness in myself.
Thank you for reading and continuing to check up on me. This blog has turned from a travel blog, to a humor blog, to a self-discovery blog, and it remain to be all three of those things at once (and probably more), which is good for me. I hope you have a healthy happy new year, and stay tuned for more!
All the love.
