In Which There is Heartbreak and Hope

Sooo... how about that last blog being up for months??? Things are a bit better. My days are full of constant self-reminding to be thankful, kind and patient not just with others but with myself.I was pretty effected by Robin Williams' suicide a few weeks ago. To personally have experienced being recently close to suicide makes it sting and ache in a way I would never have expected, especially for a person most would consider a stranger. In a way though, he wasn't a stranger. He was a friend who never knew he was my friend. His movies and stand-up were some of my first experiences with comedy, his outlook on life inspired change in me when I was younger. To know that he was in that place where there seems to be no other possible option other than death and he couldn't find a way to ask for help breaks my heart. I won't say he's in a better place now, I won't say rest easy or that his pain has been relieved, because while those things could be true, the real truth is that no matter the situation, suicide is never a good option for depression. If you have the support you need, that pain and despair can be an amazing catalyst for growth, love and connectedness. Severe depression should have more of a commonplace dailogue to help encourage those who are in that place to speak up without fear of judgement, chastising or misunderstanding. The loss of someone I found to be inspirational is a huge motivation for me to keep myself as far away from that place for the rest of my life as possible. Even if coping and managing depression seems hard and overwhleming at times, it's not as hard as a premature and unneccesary endng. Just imagine if Jumanji had ended 3/4 of the way through. Sometimes, the ending is the best part. I'd like to think that life is the same.