Tornado Valley

I can now say firsthand tornadoes are cooler from far away. How would I know this? Chances are I've already told you on Facebook. And possibly via text message. And also maybe through telepathy...

Now, technically after doing research and talking to my own personal 'Nado Geek Kate, I can't say I saw a tornado. I couldn't see it completely touching the ground, which constitutes only as a funnel cloud. SCIENCE! It may have touched down, but there aren't any solid reports. It looked a lot like this:

This isn't it, though. This is an image found via Google image search. So, copyright someone else. But if you think you'd stop on the highway when it is hailing during rush hour to snap a shitty picture with your shitty camera phone, then good job, crazy type person, you are an idiot. And possible lying to yourself, as you would be too busy trying to hold your urine in your bladder that suddenly feels as small as a pea. That said, tornadoes are violently dangerous and scary and badass, and I made the decision to preserve by own life and did not stop to camerawhore.

To begin this week long storm story, last week going to pick up Mom I was nearly certain I drove through some tornado-like storm. I drove from clear skies into dark doom clouds, then it was so windy I could barely control the car, then blinding rain, which I had to sit on the side of the highway and wait out. Shit was flying around everywhere, debris from the trees and the bushes was hitting my car. Then it seemed to improve slightly, and then I saw lighting strike a tree about 500 feet away. My car shook, the air felt static and it sounded how I imagine a bomb would. For a split, unreasonable second I thought I was going to die. 

Luckily, that was not the case. A few branches splintered on the tree, but I couldn't see much because of the rain. And then the hail kept me from getting out of the car to take a closer look. Then, it was calm as hell outside. Then yesterday I had a very similar experience. Kate called to tell me to be careful and as she called, I spotted the funnel cloud out my window. I high tailed it (meaning I drove 40 mph through hail) to a Sheetz gas station and waited for awhile for the nasty to pass. Some debris flew but no sign that a tornado hit. Then I got in my car, thinking I could beat the upcoming string, and what do you know? This bitch drove straight into more funnel clouds. These has less definition of a tornado and more hail. I was shaken up and totally pumped when I got home. I gathered candles and matches, opened my window slightly in case the air siren were to tornadolarm, and drank. The rest of the night was relatively calm and quiet, and today it is cool and sunny. Severe weather alerts have subsided!

I guess it is not uncommon to have a few tornadoes every year. Last year, there were a few in Shenandoah County. One hit Basye and tore through a bunch of farmland. There is a carpenter in one of the local towns who used reclaimed wood from the destroyed barns and makes all sort of book cases and wooden furniture. Neat. So, next time I see a tornado, it better be from a comfy IMAX seat, eating bonbons and making this face this instead of this face. Well, that is all for now folks. Talk to you soon!